You wanna know something? I think that most people in this world are friendless. Honestly. I have been for most of my life. I mean, when you see me from the outside, er from another persons perspective I definitely seem like a girl always surrounded by a cattle of friends all the time. For me, there all just people. Not friends at all. And I fucking hate people. Maybe its just "high school" but sometimes I feel like every single person I know is just a shallow heartless nobody. Sometimes I feel so separated from my peers that its all just kind of a weird dream, like a bad episode of the Twilight Zone. When you feel alone in the world, life is all kind of surreal and blurry. Like a fogged up brain.
Well I don't know where I was going with that.. but my point was to bring up my actual best friend. Not some lifeless shallow sheep. Quite possibly one of the greatest people I've ever met. We may be complete fucking opposites, but I love her to death. The way I like to think about is that she's a square and I'm a circle. Of course its a bit more complex than shapes but thats how it works in my mind. You know what's funny? When I first met her about 6 years ago, she was the circle and I was the square. And we wee FAR from best friends. She was a wild flower, always being daring and provocative. It was all kind of intimidating, I was this timid little Bambi-type girl and she was the fearless fox. Of course, growing up and growing wiser has changed a lot of that. A lot of life lessons have been learned to say the least. She's grown to be much more responsible and mature, she's very concentrated on doing whats right for herself and others. And for myself, I've learned to never shy down. I'm not at all concerned without being anyone but who I want to be. A lot of people claim to live by that idea, but its so much more rewarding when its the truth. I truly love myself so much more knowing that I'm free. Maggie and I have taught each other quite a lot. She keeps me from killing myself (not like suicide, but from being almost too destructive) and I keep teach her to kill herself (keep in mind thats just a metaphor.) We balance each other out quite nicely.
There is SO MUCH more that can be said right now, but typing is beginning to bore me.
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